I can’t claim to be leading with love all the time. I am still learning too. And I think this will be a lifelong process.
I am extremely intellectual, I am a highly sensitive empath and I am constantly pushing my boundaries. I have been able to achieve a balance between my mental self, my emotional self, my physical self, and my spiritual self. I have moved past the usual societal expectations, I have decluttered myself of most of my baggage and I have helped others to move past their blocks.
I have indulged in and tried so many things. I have been to the brink of being a millionaire and to the brink of forsaking every material possession. I am ever increasing myself as a being, in hopes to one day be just too big (this is a reference to Ellen Yindel asking Jim Gordan why he gives Batman a break, to which Jim Gordon replies, “he is just too big”). I want to so big that I can move metaphorical mountains. I don’t want to be praised. I just want the power to make the world a better place.
And here lies the biggest challenge. I used to hate the world, and my efforts to change the world were so that I don’t have to face my hatred. I wanted the world to change around my hatred. I wanted the world to change around my anger. I wanted the world to change because I am too weak to face my demons. Sometimes, I wanted to just run away to a remote place; and sometimes I wanted the world to be destroyed. I was ruled by anger, hatred, and sadness. And I was afraid to confront it.
In this journey, I accidentally reached a state where I loved the world, and I wanted it to be better. This need for making the world a better place was out of love, and it was the RIGHT way. The only ever-lasting way. I could see the beauty in this world and I wanted to see that beauty prosper. I could also see the ugliness of this world, but just a parent wants to see their children (I think) be better no matter how they are, I wanted to see the world to move past its ugliness. I didn’t want the world to be destroyed and I found acceptance. Acceptance for the world, but more importantly, acceptance for myself. In this state, most of the constraints put upon me by society vanished like a puff of smoke. I was led by love and I began a healing journey.
And this is what a human at their highest self can achieve. To lead with love. I am not strong enough to lead with love all the time. It is difficult to be vulnerable, to show love to those who don’t deserve it, and to not fear being rejected or taken advantage of. But with great risks, come great rewards. Leading with love feels out of control. Leading with love requires faith in other human beings, other life forms, and the universe. Leading with love means letting go of expectations. You just have to be the light and HOPE that it is enough. Leading with love requires immense bravery and guts; the most any human being can muster.
And in a world full of reasons to hate, it takes tremendous willpower to ignore those reasons and be above it all. In a fast-changing world with deadlines and short timelines, it’s so easy to shut down. It’s almost impossible to let love succeed.
Though I have seen such people, I have met those people and at first, I felt sorry for them. But these are the people who have the power to truly change the world. They don’t have to actively engage in changing the world, they just shine too bright. And you can’t help but bask in their light.
I just want to be that better person; I just want to be my light. I want the strength to be led by love. Hence I keep on growing.